My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize