it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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