I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize