I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
two words...techno handjob
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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