Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
