Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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