That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
