remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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