So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
