whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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