they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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