I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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