I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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