I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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