And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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