They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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