I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
