got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
