there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company