Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
