I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
