just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
