Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
