SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You are the jesus of drinking
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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