He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You may now shotgun with the bride
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
