the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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