Porn is love you can see.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
