i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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