you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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