Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
