I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
