I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
