i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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