If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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