I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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