He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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