Too much gin, very little bucket
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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