I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
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that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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