Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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