He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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