Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
