Christians are straight up FREAKS
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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