her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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