We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
