No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Panties = found
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
