Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize