if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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