you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
That's intense
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
