Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
