i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
