my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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