Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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