Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize