All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
