I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
