I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
