I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
