i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
