New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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