i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
