White coat. Heels.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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